The Italy I Embraced, Defeated, and Still Face

When I first dreamed of moving to Italy, I pictured a life of sun-drenched vineyards, perfect espresso, and effortless style. And while all of that is true, what no one tells you is that it’s a daily lesson in cultural negotiation. It's an active dance between the American way I knew and the Italian way I've come to love... and sometimes still scratch my head at.

After a bit over a year on this beautiful peninsula, my experience has fallen into three distinct categories: the things I fell for, the battles I fought and won, and the differences I still face.

The Things I Fell For

At first, they seemed strange. Now, I wouldn't have it any other way.

The most significant shift has been the adoption of a slower, more deliberate pace. I used to be a person who rushed through errands, but here, the queues have taught me patience. Whether I’m at the post office, the butcher, or even the hospital, a queue with a number is the norm. It's an organized system that replaces the aggressive hustle of a free-for-all line, and it’s beautiful in its simplicity.

Whether at the doctor or...

...the market, take a number.

Then there are the hours of operation. When I first arrived, stores and some restaurants closing from around 3 PM to 7 PM felt like a bizarre inconvenience. Now I understand it’s a non-negotiable part of the day's rhythm, giving me a good reason to stay inside and escape the scorching summer heat. This forced break has helped me embrace a slower pace of life where nothing happens fast, and that’s perfectly okay.

Want a meal out at 6 PM? You are out of luck.

The most welcome change, however, has been the public transport. It's super affordable and incredibly efficient. I no longer have a car, which means no car payment, no insurance bills, and no endless search for parking. It’s a freedom I never knew I was missing and one I wouldn't trade for anything.

The Battles I Fought and Won

Not everything was a smooth transition. Some differences were a bridge too far for my American sensibilities, and I had to find a way to make my own rules.

For example, the concept of line-drying clothes. It's lovely and romantic, and I appreciate the energy savings. But after a few attempts, I drew the line. My biggest issues were the relentless sneezing from allergens in the air and the fact that the sun relentlessly bleached my favorite clothes. The good news? Clothes dryers do exist in Italy, and I was own one. My soft, un-faded towels are a small, but daily, victory.

My Italian neighbors love a good line dry. it just doesn't work for me.

Another one was dinner time. A traditional Italian dinner can start anywhere from 8 PM to 10 PM. While I love the idea of a long, leisurely meal, I’m a creature of habit. I tried to adapt, but my body clock was not having it. Thankfully, there’s no rule against keeping your own schedule. Dinner at our house is still and will always be at 6 PM.

The Differences I Still Face

And then there are the things that still make me sigh with a mix of frustration and resignation. These are the cultural quirks that have yet to click for me.

First is the public audio. Whether it’s music blaring from a smartphone, TikToks playing at full volume, or speakerphone conversations on public transport, the loud and very public sharing of personal media is a phenomenon I just don't understand. I've learned to carry noise-canceling headphones everywhere, but it's a constant battle.

Then there are the dogs. My sweet, reactive, rescue girl, Ruby Lu, is spayed and not a fan of dogs, and Italian parks can be a minefield. The flexibility of leash laws and the prevalence of non-neutered, off-leash dogs can make a simple walk a stressful event for both of us. I quickly learned the phrase, "Per favore, guinzaglio" (Please, a leash) to try and avoid these encounters.

Meet Ruby Lu, always loyal and true. I wonder how many other dogs went from the kill list at an Oklahoma animal shelter to strolling the streets of Italy?

Finally, the road rules. The honking, the general flexibility of lanes, and the confident-yet-unpredictable driving style are things I have yet to fully comprehend. A red light is more of a suggestion, and a horn is less a sign of anger and more a polite "I'm here!" It's a chaotic ballet, and I prefer to be a pedestrian observer than a participant.

Living in Italy is not about giving up who you are; it's about learning what you're willing to embrace, what you’ll politely decline, and what you’ll simply have to grin and bear. It’s a messy, beautiful, and endlessly fascinating journey.

At the end of the day, living in Italy requires a pragmatic mindset. It’s not about being perfect or understanding every last cultural detail; it’s about finding a way to make your life here work. Some things you can adapt to. Others, you can’t, but you learn to navigate them. And then there are the challenges that you can strategically defeat.

An official language certificate is not about speaking like a native; it's the ultimate pragmatic win. It’s the paperwork that allows you to keep the dream alive, a fast-track to staying in Italy with less hassle. Our Ready Set Italia A2 and B1 exam prep courses are designed specifically for this purpose. We don’t waste your time teaching you things you’ll never need. We give you the exact knowledge and test-taking strategies to pass your exam, get your paperwork, and get back to living your life in Italy. We help you win the system.

For those who have lived or traveled in Italy, what cultural difference has been the hardest for you to get used to?